


Five times Alex stumbled into his own pleasure, and one time some one else gave it to him

by JustAsSweet



Series: A Voyage of Self Discovery [1]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Abuse, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Jesse Manes is His Own Warning, M/M, Masturbation, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:48:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23903386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAsSweet/pseuds/JustAsSweet
Summary: Alex hits some benchmarks as he explores his sexuality.
Relationships: Alex Manes/Original Male Character(s), Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: A Voyage of Self Discovery [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1722949
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	Five times Alex stumbled into his own pleasure, and one time some one else gave it to him

**Author's Note:**

> I think of this as a character study more than anything else, but it is very much almost entirely smut. This is my take on some encounters that I imagine Alex would have had as he was growing up, and how I think he would have navigated his sexuality. Contains typical teenagers being teenagers; everything is consensual but they are underage. Believe it or not, I wrote this before 2x06 aired! [This work](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23903779) can be taken as a coda of sorts, technically it's a "deleted scene" that didn't work out because of the year the movie came out (yes I care about that).

\-- 1 --

Alex was 13, and he had spent all day with Kyle. They had been triumphantly giddy; their treehouse was finally completed. The afternoon was full of unnoticed banged elbows and bruised shins as they swung in and around their new hangout, finally ending the day lying on the floor staring at the ceiling, too worn out to do anything else.

Alex turned his head to the side and watched Kyle gesture as he talked, even flat on his back as he was, and Alex felt happiness glow and settle in the pit of his stomach. If it felt a little like butterflies that was ok. Butterflies were happy.

“Boys!” A voice from below called up.

Recognizing his father and noticing the setting sun Alex scrambled down ahead of Kyle and stood panting with badly suppressed pride in front of what he had helped accomplish, hoping it would be enough to stave off the lecture about lateness and the punishment to follow.

“Look Dad, we finished it!” He grinned up at Kyle, whose head was poking out of the doorway looking down to make sure Alex was clear. Kyle flashed a grin in return, and started making his way out. Alex looked back at his father and froze at the sight of a clenched jaw and tight eyes. He ducked his head and straightened his back, swallowing his smile.

“You sure did. Looks good and sturdy, just like a treehouse should.” His father clapped a congratulatory hand on Kyle’s shoulder, smiling down as Kyle beamed with pride. “Go home Kyle, I’m sure your father is looking for you.” Alex’s father turned his suddenly steely gaze on Alex over Kyle’s head as he finished speaking, and Alex’s stomach dropped.

“Ok! Bye Alex!” Kyle ran off towards his house with a wave tossed over his shoulder.

Alex smiled weakly in return and half raised a hand, only to let it fall in the face of his father’s looming presence.

“Come on, son. I was worried about you.”

Alex had to stand holding a 3 pound weight in front of him while listening to a 20 minute lecture on the importance of punctuality and was then sent to bed with no dinner.

He woke up the next morning to find himself a sticky mess. His underwear was half dried to him; it was cold and wet and he sat up abruptly in disgust as he came fully awake. He crinkled his nose when he lifted the covers and saw it had leaked through onto the sheets as well, and he tossed them clear of his body to swing his feet over the side of the mattress onto the floor.

He grabbed a clean pair of underwear and waddled to the bathroom, trying to not get any more of the stuff on him then there already was. When he came out again, clean and dry and holding the dirty pair crumpled in front of him, he froze at the sight of his father in his bedroom doorway.

His father turned around slowly and his gaze landed on Alex’s underwear in his hands immediately. Alex felt ice curl in his stomach, his gut recognizing the look in his father’s eyes even as his thoughts raced trying to figure out what exactly he’d done wrong. He swallowed and stood straighter with the knowledge that it was better to get it over with than to fight.

His father looked into his room, at his bed, then turned to look at Alex again.

“Clean up this disgusting mess.”

Alex nodded jerkily and hurried past him to start stripping his bed, ears burning as he felt his father’s continued presence in the doorway behind him. His jaw clenched around the unfairness of it; none of his brothers had gotten this reaction out of their father over this problem. But he was learning since his mother left to pick his battles, so he stayed silent.

When the beatings started, he assumed it was because of the dirty sheets.

\-- 2 --

Alex was 14, and it was Liz’s fault. She’d wanted to see the new Spy Kids movie when it was at the drive-in but Arturo hadn’t let her go. Something about the violence, or the video game, or the violence in the video game. Alex wasn’t clear on why, but she hadn’t been allowed to see it.

Now though it had finally come in at the local Blockbuster and Rosa had picked up a copy for her after Liz had pleaded and offered to take one of her shifts at the Crashdown. Rosa had rolled her eyes but she’d done it, and Liz had run it straight over to Maria’s house where the three of them were now all squished together on the couch, Maria in the middle with Alex and Liz on either side.

Alex let himself settle into the comfort of being with his friends, tension easing from his shoulders little by little as the movie went on. He leaned close to Maria to take more popcorn out of the bowl she was holding, neatly dodging her half-hearted smack. He watched the main character look for his sister and found himself wishing that was him, with Liz and Maria as sisters instead of the brothers he was stuck with.

Every time Alex saw him on-screen he smiled at the thought, and happiness fizzed quietly in the bottom of his stomach. But then. The hero everyone had been anticipating stepped on-screen in silver armor, silhouetted in beams of light that framed dark hair and blue eyes and a movie-star smile, and the fizzing turned into an electric jolt.

He held himself very still, hoping neither of the other two had noticed his reaction, and when the hero died not five minutes later he exhaled a slow sigh of relief.

Later, as he lay in the shed listening to music, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about it. That smile, those eyes. The fizzing was back full force, and it was starting to cause a problem. Namely, he couldn’t lay on his stomach comfortably any more.

He rolled to the side slightly and looked down at himself as if glaring at it could make the growing lump at his crotch go away. When it inevitably didn’t Alex sighed and took an ear bud out, listening. The shed was something each of the brothers had used at one time as a refuge; a quiet place to get out of an increasingly crowded house. The house was slowly starting to become less full as one by one the brothers moved out, but with his father’s increased scrutiny about his laundry it was just as stifling for Alex. Even though the shed was mostly his now, occasionally one of the others would turn up unexpectedly.

But tonight he heard nothing and decided to risk it; he knew what the quickest way to deal with his problem was and he would much rather take care of it here than risk trying to sneak dirty sheets into the washer past his father’s bedroom in the morning.

Alex paused his music and took his other earbud out, carefully winding the wires together and setting them down with his MP3 player on the floor under the edge of the futon mattress. He rolled so his back was to the door and curled up on his side, just in case. He unzipped his pants, licked his palm, then reached down and took himself in hand.

He began to stroke slowly at first to slide into the feeling. His thoughts turned again to that moment, that image of brown hair and smiling blue eyes haloed in light, and a bolt of heat shot through his belly. He bit down on a gasp and sped up without thinking about it, easing his own way now with droplets smearing under his thumb as his hand moved. He chased that feeling, twisting his wrist and flicking his thumb and imagining that smile, those lips, pressing against his own….

He let out a surprised grunt when he came, hips and hand stuttering as he tipped over the edge almost accidentally. He flopped onto his back to catch his breath and stared at the ceiling as he considered. That had been new. He’d thought about boys before, he assumed everybody did, but kissing them...he knew what wanting to kiss boys made him.

Maybe it wasn’t the dirty sheets that his father had a problem with.

\-- 3 --

Alex was 15, and it was an accident. He was in the music room waiting for Liz after school when an unfamiliar upperclassman stuck his head in the door. He seemed surprised to see Alex sitting on the choral risers with a notebook out, but while he appeared to be sizing him up he also didn’t immediately retreat.

“Um, hi? Can I help you?” Alex asked when the boy didn’t move.

He narrowed his eyes, then seemed to make a decision and came fully into the room, letting the door click shut behind him.

“I was just looking for the music room. I’m from Goddard High, with the marching band. We’re here for the game tonight. I like to look at other music rooms when I get the chance. See if I’m missing anything.” He made his way slowly over to Alex until he was standing in front of him, hands in his pockets and shoulders slumped. Casual and at ease. And attractive in a devil-may-care way.

Alex forced himself not to think about that part.

“What are you working on?” He plunked down next to Alex and made as if to look at his notebook.

Alex slammed the cover shut. He didn’t want anyone to know yet that he had started writing down some things, lyrics, that were in his head.

“Nothing.” Alex said as he shoved the notebook into his bag.

“Woah, sorry.” The other boy leaned back and put his hands in the air in surrender.

Alex looked over at him and paused, hand on the zipper of his backpack. The boy looked back and offered an apologetic half shrug as he raised his eyebrows.

“It’s fine.” Alex relented, letting go of his bag and bringing his hands back to his lap. He looked down at them, fidgeting with a ring he was wearing that he had borrowed from Maria. He liked the way the slim silver band twisted around his finger, it was soothing.

“I like your nail polish.”

Alex jerked his eyes to the other boy’s face, expecting to see the sneer he usually did when his nails were mentioned. They were new too, a plunge he had taken at the last sleepover with Liz and Maria. The look on his father’s face was worth the effort. It had almost made the beating after worth it too.

But Alex didn’t see any sign of disgust or cruelty in the other boy. Only genuine curiosity and admiration. And more than a little something else that he couldn’t quite pin down.

“...Thanks.” Alex muttered eventually, uncomfortable at the way he could feel himself being evaluated.

The silence stretched for a bit and Alex was opening his mouth to ask a question, just to break the awkwardness, when he was interrupted.

“So. You wanna make out?”

Alex could have sworn his heart literally stopped, only to restart again to begin pounding in his ears.

“Um” Alex swallowed thickly around his suddenly dry mouth. He looked over with wide eyes to see a cocksure grin a lot closer than it had been and eyes that held absolutely no hint of a joke. “What?”

“I gotta be on the field in 10 minutes for warm up. I have time to kill. Wanna help me do it?” His eyes narrowed as he looked at Alex sitting stunned in front of him. He leaned back. “Unless you’re not…”

“No, no.” Alex finally got out, nearly tripping over his own tongue.

The other boy raised his eyebrows. “No...what? No kissing? Or-”

“No.” Alex said again firmly, then shook his head sharply. “I mean, yes. I am.” He took a deep breath; he hadn’t actually said this to anyone outside of his friends and Mimi, let alone a stranger. Somehow a stranger was easier though. “I’m gay.”

He glared, daring the other boy to say something. But all Alex saw was approval, and that something else he still couldn’t put his finger on.

“Cool. So, makeout?” He leaned halfway in, one hand stopped in mid air as if prepared to touch Alex but holding back.

“Uh…” Alex paused, uncertain. His eyes flicked to the smile the other boy was sporting again and clenched his jaw at the challenge he saw there. “Okay.”

The word had barely been spoken when he felt a hand at his neck and he was yanked unceremoniously forward. He swallowed a yelp of surprise as they collided, and suddenly he had an open mouth on his. Their teeth clacked together and Alex winced, trying to angle how he knew he needed to for this to be comfortable. It was harder than it should have been; the other boy seemed to be doing his level best to swallow Alex’s lower face and the only other time he had done this it was on a dare and Maria had kept her lips closed.

Alex brought his hand up to the back of the boy’s head, aiming for some way he could get him to lean how he wanted. A tongue shoved its way into his mouth and it took everything he had not to bite down instinctively. Alex gave up niceties and grabbed a handful of hair, bodily pulling until their noses and lips were better aligned. It backfired as the other boy made a pleased sound and tightened his hand on Alex’s neck, forcing his head to tip back and the angle to change.

At that point Alex stopped trying to control anything as he realized it went better if he rolled in whichever direction he was pulled. After what seemed like an eternity the other boy drew back, his eyes glinting and a smirk on his face. Alex gulped air and felt the unexpected burn on his lips and around his mouth from stubble he hadn’t counted on.

“Thanks for the ride.” The boy got up and sauntered to the music room door. He turned as he reached it and looked over his shoulder. “I’ve got to get to the field, but maybe I’ll see you around.” He smirked again and walked out.

“Not if I can help it.” Alex muttered, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

If that was what kissing a boy was like, he’d rather stick with Maria.

\-- 4 --

Alex was 16, and he was feeling lucky. Mimi had just taken him to get his ears pierced and he was riding high on the feeling of rebellion, or victory, or something. Today, he felt like he could do anything. So he skipped gym.

It was a nice day, but the sun was hot so he sat under the bleachers in the shade with his notebook and tried to sketch out some lyrics for a song he was working on. His earbuds were in and he didn’t notice the other student until he was already next to him. Alex jerked back, startled.

“Sorry! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.” The boy spread his hands in placation and stopped short where he was.

“It’s fine.” Alex dismissed with a wave of his hand. He squinted up at the other boy. “Taylor, right? You just moved?”

Taylor laughed ruefully and dropped his hands. “Yeah, that would be me. The new kid.”

Alex smiled. “Sometimes new is good.” He took out his earbuds, picked up his bag, and gestured to the spot to the left of where he was sitting on the grass. “You skipping too?”

Taylor plopped to the ground with a sigh, his back against one of the bleacher supports. “Not on purpose. I got lost trying to find the room I needed and gave up.”

Alex laughed. “I can show you where it is, just tell me the number.” He closed his notebook and prepared to stand.

“No, no.” Taylor grabbed his arm to stop him. “It’s ok. It’s nice out.”

Alex looked pointedly at Taylor’s hand gripping his bicep. “Now I know for sure you’re new. Didn’t anyone tell you I’m ‘different’?” He asked wryly, his tone mocking.

Taylor jerked his hand away, flushing. He looked down and spoke to his feet. “Sometimes different is good.”

Alex swallowed hard at the unexpectedness of it. “Yeah.” It came out a little more gruff than he intended. “Yeah, sometimes it is.”

The silence stretched between them, Alex not speaking in favor of trying to get a grip on himself.

“Did you just get your ears pierced?”

“What?” Alex looked over in surprise. He hadn’t thought it would be obvious, they were small studs covered mostly by his hair.

Taylor flushed again. “Your ears are red and it’s not going away; they look like my sister’s when she got hers done.”

“Oh.” Alex put a hand to his lobe and felt how warm it was. It probably was red, come to think of it. “Yeah. Yeah I did.”

“It looks cool.” Taylor offered a small smile, and Alex couldn’t help but return it.

“Thanks.”

“There was this boy, at my old school, he pierced his ears too.” Taylor began slowly, looking askance at Alex. Alex nodded encouragingly, but felt like he was missing something.

“He looked kind of like you actually.” Taylor went on, picking nervously at his fingernails. “Long hair, rings, pierced ears, except he had a nose piercing too, and he liked to wear the same kind of clothes.”

Taylor was leaning ever so slightly towards him, and Alex noticed his pulse jumping in his throat. He noticed something else too when his eyes wandered where he usually wouldn’t let them.

“Why are you here?” Alex asked abruptly.

Taylor startled at him, blinking wide eyes. “Um, well, I saw you over here and I thought...well, maybe I’d…”

Alex snorted. “Try something different?”

Taylor looked at him, his eyes flaring and his jaw clenching at Alex’s tone. He exhaled sharply through his nose. “Try something new.”

“Yeah?” Alex’s mouth was dry and he licked his lips, his eyes drawn again to the unmistakable beginnings of a bulge in Taylor’s lap. “What did you have in mind?”

“Well, um…” Taylor looked uncertain again and Alex could see that if he wasn’t careful he would bolt.

“Ok.” Alex took a breath and softened his voice deliberately. “Close your eyes?”

Taylor jerked his head to look at Alex, searching his face. Whatever he saw made him exhale and nod tightly. “Ok. Yeah, ok.” He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the metal support, shoulders tense.

Alex waited a moment, glancing around to make sure they were alone, then put his right hand gently on Taylor’s thigh. Taylor twitched at the contact but subsided immediately. Alex slid slowly higher and watched Taylor’s throat bob as he swallowed, his breath coming faster. When he finally palmed him through his jeans, Taylor gasped slightly and twitched again. Alex smiled and pushed a little harder, his smile turning into a grin when it made Taylor moan.

Alex reached over with his other hand to undo Taylor’s button and fly, then put it back on the ground to hold himself up. He spit into his right palm before sliding it carefully into Taylor’s jeans and pulling the waistband of his underwear down. He took a moment to appreciate the view, then took Taylor firmly in hand.

Taylor moaned again and Alex started to stroke him evenly, looking with fascination at his hand on someone else for a change. Taylor tossed his head against where he was leaning it; he was panting open-mouthed now and leaking against Alex’s hand. Alex started to twist his wrist and move faster, working the slick precome under his palm to ease the way. He saw Taylor’s fingers spasm in the grass and felt his belly clench against his knuckles, so he was prepared for the hot spurt of climax over his fingers as Taylor jerked his hips up with a groan.

Alex worked him through it, trying to make as little of a mess as possible. When Taylor sighed and flinched away from his touch, Alex reached over and pulled his underwear back up into place. He thought that had gone rather well, and started to trace idle patterns on Taylor’s stomach through the small trail of hair below his belly button.

But when Taylor opened his eyes, Alex knew immediately he had miscalculated. He saw the panic hit and yanked his hand back like he had been bitten. Taylor pushed away and scrambled to his feet.

“I uh…” He clutched his pants together in front of himself and hunched his shoulders. “I have to go.”

Alex watched him jerk around and walk quickly away, hitching his jeans and doing up his fly. He wiped his hand idly in the grass next to him and tried to will his stomach into unclenching.

When Alex saw Taylor again, across the hallway behind Kyle’s jeering face, he wasn’t surprised when he simply turned away.

\-- 5 --

Alex was 17, and Rosa had snuck him a magazine. It was a “men’s health” type deal and she slid it to him at lunch with a wink and a finger to her lips as she passed by. He tucked it carefully into his bag to examine later when there were fewer eyes on him.

He pulled it out at last in the shed, flipping slowly through the pages and dog-earing the ones with images he wanted to come back to. He stopped at an article when he saw the words “anal intercourse”. He hadn’t had the opportunity to learn much about “the gay lifestyle” other than what his father had spit at him and what he’d been able to glean in bits from various pieces of media, but that part he knew.

He skimmed the article to see what the subject was, gathering it was about the prostate gland. Most of the point was various ways it could affect health, but the paragraph that had caught his attention mentioned off-hand that it could also be a source of pleasure when stimulated during sex.

Alex read it several times over and squinted at the diagram included with the article. He lifted the magazine slightly to look at his lap. He had been ignoring his response to the pictures for the most part, intending to wait until later when he had flipped through the whole thing. But he was already half hard and, having no idea how long it could be before he had someone else to try this out with, he decided it might be a good idea to experiment with himself first.

He listened for a moment and, hearing nothing, opened the magazine to one of the images that had caught his eye earlier and leaned down to set it on the floor. He took the ring off his left index finger and put it with the magazine too. Then he licked his right hand and stroked himself to full hardness before he laid down on his back and pulled his pants below his knees. Keeping his hand wrapped loosely around himself and stroking almost absent mindedly, he put his left forefinger in his mouth and sucked. When it seemed well-lubricated he pulled it out and moved his hand between his legs, gently nudging himself aside and feeling for his opening. He paused when the puckered skin was against his fingertip; it felt almost ticklish so he let it rest there for a moment. Then he took a steadying breath and pushed slowly in.

He crinkled his nose at the strange sensation of feeling something inside of him, and at the even stranger sensation of being able to feel his own insides. But he carried on, working his finger further in with small twists and pressing up towards his front where the article had seemed to indicate his goal was. Just as he was considering taking another look at the magazine to see exactly how far he supposedly had to go, he hit a spot that sent a sizzle of need straight to his groin.

Alex gasped in surprise at the intensity of the feeling and immediately squeezed his eyes and lips closed, letting the pull of his septum ring help him with control. His right hand had tightened convulsively around himself and his hips jerked up in an involuntary movement that nearly sent him over the edge right there. He exhaled slowly through his nose and uncurled the fingers of his right hand. He licked his palm again and reached down to start a steady rhythm, keeping his left finger motionless where it was for the moment.

When he was leaking onto his belly and he felt himself twitch against his palm, he pressed his finger up towards that spot once more. He had to adjust slightly and push a little further in, but all at once his back arched off the futon and he saw stars as he came hard with almost no warning.

Alex floated back to awareness slowly, completely wrung out and panting. He pulled his finger out and let his hands fall to his sides, blinking at the ceiling as he caught his breath.

Well. If that was what he had to look forward to then maybe his “perversion” wasn’t all bad.

\-- +1 --

Alex was 17, and Michael Guerin was kissing him. He still didn’t quite believe it; even seeing how much Michael meant his words when he said “and not with someone I’ve liked as much as I like you” hadn’t fully convinced Alex that Michael wasn’t going to suddenly change his mind. But then again he was still here. In the shed. Kissing Alex.

And when Alex hauled their bare chests flush together by the small of Michael’s back he could feel Michael hard against him and that had to count for something. Because instead of jerking away like Alex half expected, Michael groaned softly against Alex’s mouth and tried to crowd closer. His palms were hot against Alex’s jaw and Alex felt like he might melt from the energy sizzling through him at every point of contact.

Alex kept his left hand pressed flat against Michael’s back and buried his right in Michael’s hair. He could not get enough of it; it was so much softer than he’d expected and he loved the feel of it curling over and between his fingers like it was trying to hold onto him. Michael apparently liked it too because he made a pleased sound at the back of his throat and arched against Alex like a cat. A thrill ran down Alex’s spine and he repressed the urge to shiver, choosing instead to press more firmly with his palm and grind their hips together.

Michael choked off a whine and pulled away looking dazed and slightly offended. Alex stilled, prepared to shove away if he had to, but Michael smirked at him and slid his right palm down Alex's back to grab himself a handful of denim-covered ass. He seemed satisfied at Alex's surprised grunt and tugged gentle fingers in Alex's hair to turn his head to the side, biting and licking and kissing his neck as soon as he had the room.

Alex closed his eyes against the electric tingle that shot straight to his groin at that, choosing instead to bury his face in Michael's curls and simply breathe him in. It was clear he hadn't showered in a few days, he smelled stale, but there was also something that reminded Alex of fishing with Kyle's family on vacation; something deeply natural and clean in its own way. Then Michael bit down a little harder than he had been and Alex yelped, abruptly back in the moment.

He pulled away enough to raise an eyebrow at Michael who was grinning unrepentantly back. Michael wanted to be paid attention to. Ok. He could do that.

Alex slid his left hand around from Michael’s back so it was between them, cupped Michael through his jeans, and squeezed. Michael's eyes fell closed and his head tipped back as he groaned, full throated. Alex felt the vibration against his chest as if he’d made the sound himself and his breath caught. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Michael's neck, the exposed skin too tempting for him to ignore. He could feel Michael's heart racing under his lips and closed his eyes for a moment to try and imprint the sensation there forever

Alex moved his left hand up to clutch at Michael's waist, his right fingers still grasping and releasing in Michael's hair in a gentle rhythm. He felt like he could spend hours just touching him like this; breathing him in. But then Michael made a noise, and that was all the warning Alex had before the hand that had been at his back was suddenly between them. Alex's hips jerked forward as Michael palmed him and he gasped against Michael's neck, his fingers spasming at Michael’s waist and scalp. He squeezed his eyes shut at the head rush and felt Michael's low chuckle under his mouth.

Alex leaned away and grabbed a handful of hair to pull Michael down for a hard kiss. Michael opened easily to him, and after a moment Alex drew back to pant for breath with his forehead pressed against Michael's. He brought his hands to Michael’s shoulders and pushed away a little, putting some distance between them. Michael looked at him with a furrowed brow until Alex glanced pointedly at the futon.

“You wanna…”

He looked back to find a cocky grin on Michael’s face.

“Thought you’d never ask.”

Alex rolled his eyes and pushed Michael, turning them until he could shove at Michael's shoulders and watch him tumble onto the worn cushion, laughing. Alex took the opportunity to toe out of his shoes and Michael did the same. When Michael sat up again Alex swung himself onto his lap and cupped his face in his hands, kissing him deeply. Michael’s hands stole around his waist and Alex nearly melted at the feeling of the heat of his palms pressed there. No one had ever touched him like this before, like they liked doing it. It felt so good, _so good_ , and he wanted...he wanted-

“Wait.” Alex was breathless and it came out as a gasp.

Michael stilled immediately and looked up at him, his eyes nothing but pupil blown wide.

“Can I...can I show you something? Do something? It’ll feel good, I promise.”

Michael nodded slowly. “...Sure.”

Alex leaned down and kissed him quickly, a thank you, then sat back and put his right finger in his mouth. He watched as Michael tracked his hand and saw when he swallowed hard, eyes riveted to where Alex was sucking. After a moment Alex pulled his finger free and looked at him.

“Okay?” He wanted to give this to Michael, but he needed to know it wouldn’t spook him. He needed to be sure he wouldn’t run.

Michael swallowed again and licked his lips. “Yeah.”

His eyes were dark and his voice rough; a bolt of heat shivered down Alex’s spine at the sound of it. He ignored it to stand up and tug at Michael’s jeans. Michael wriggled to help him, and in no time his pants and underwear were tossed aside. Alex looked down at him, spread out on the couch, and wished he could freeze time and keep this moment forever. As if he could read his mind, Michael smiled up at him in a way that made his face seem to glow with happiness and satisfaction, and Alex melted all over again.

He nudged Michael’s knees apart and knelt on the floor between his thighs, unable to stop himself from rubbing a hand up the inside of one just to see what the hair on Michael’s legs felt like under his palm. Alex smiled to himself as he saw Michael twitch when he slowed just short of his groin. He took Michael in his left hand and watched the way his hips jerked slightly at the contact, filing it all away.

He put his finger in his mouth again, wetting it like he knew it needed, and pulled it free with a small ‘pop’. He settled at Michael’s entrance and circled once, letting him get used to the feeling, then pushed slowly in. He saw Michael tense up at the intrusion and leaned forward with the intention of giving him a distraction.

Alex pulled Michael towards him gently with his left hand so that he could get his mouth on him, wanting to taste. Michael groaned at the first touch of Alex’s tongue and he felt Michael clench around the finger that was working its way inside of him. Alex licked to the top where small beads of precome were forming and poked curiously with his tongue at the source. He had tasted himself before, just to see what it was like, and found Michael to be a familiar salty tang. What he hadn’t been expecting was Michael’s reaction to being touched there.

Michael’s hips bucked up involuntarily and he let out a surprised whine at the contact, his hands grasping at the sleeping bag under him. Alex jerked his head back in reflex, then he made another mental note and turned to kiss the inside of Michael’s thigh soothingly. Deciding to keep his mouth uninvolved for now, Alex swiped his thumb where his tongue had just been and began to stroke Michael steadily. He was well inside now, all he had to do was find the magic spot.

Alex curled his finger and started to press upward firmly, adjusting slightly so he could move around a little to hit the right point. Michael jerked and groaned softly at the change and Alex felt him clench around his finger again. He sped up his hand a little and felt Michael twitch in his palm. He needed to be careful or Michael might finish before he could-

Alex’s pressed just so with his finger and Michael’s back bowed upward as he choked off a yell. His thighs squeezed Alex’s shoulders and he clenched down hard on Alex’s finger as he came in spurts on his stomach. Alex stroked him through it, waiting until Michael collapsed back on the couch and tried weakly to pull away from his touch before he stopped. Alex eased his finger out and let go with his left hand, putting them both on Michael’s thighs and rubbing soothing circles with his thumbs.

Michael lay still, chest heaving and eyes scrunched shut, and Alex thought he had never seen anything more beautiful.

“Holy _shit_.” Michael finally gasped out, head lolling as he tried to focus on Alex.

Alex couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face, and he knelt up and forward without hesitation when Michael reached for him. He cradled the back of Michael’s head with his right, supporting himself on the cushion with his left, and kissed Michael slow and deep, wanting to savor this moment.

Michael pulled back slightly and Alex let him, resting their foreheads together as Michael tried to get his breath back.

After a minute, Michael spoke. “You’re going to have to show me how to do that.”

Alex laughed, knocking their noses together. “Sure thing.”

“Maybe later though.” Michael pulled back a little and squinted at him.

“Oh?” Alex pulled back too, his stomach suddenly twisting unpleasantly. “Why’s that?”

Michael grinned wolfishly. “Because it’s my turn now.”

Michael lurched up and kissed Alex, pulling him forward by his hands at Alex's neck and causing him to overbalance and fall with an ‘oof’ on top of Michael. Alex knew he would care later about the mess he had landed in that was all over Michael’s chest, but right now all that mattered was Michael’s tongue in Alex’s mouth and his fingers in Alex’s hair.

Alex pushed himself up and straddled Michael’s lap, changing the angle and deepening the kiss. Michael made a satisfied sound and let Alex take control, moving his hands from Alex’s jaw to rest on his ribs at either side of his chest. Alex should have seen it coming, but he was too deep into the kiss so the only warning he got was Michael’s legs tensing under his before he found himself lifted bodily and turned until he slammed into the back of the futon. Michael grinned down at Alex from his new position and Alex could do nothing but blink up at him and try to remember how to breathe.

Michael stood up straight and mimicked Alex’s motion from before, tugging at Alex’s pants, and Alex shucked them off with his underwear as quickly as possible. Michael knelt between Alex’s thighs and focused his attention on Alex’s crotch like Alex had seen him do with math homework; like it was a puzzle he knew he could solve and looked forward to doing so.

Michael grasped Alex in his right hand, carefully and with a look akin to awe on his face. Alex swallowed a groan at the contact; he’d never had anyone touch him like this before and the sensation outshone his own fingers by a longshot. As Alex watched, Michael shifted his grip and gently ran a thumb over the tip like he’d done to Michael. Alex whimpered slightly and saw himself twitch in Michael’s grasp. Michael looked up and met Alex’s eyes with a smile, brought his right hand to his mouth, and flattened his tongue against his palm. Alex’s breath hitched and his heart felt like it stuttered in his chest. Oh. That was hot.

Michael brought his hand back to Alex and started to stroke him, watching his own movements with a clinical gaze. Alex was so preoccupied with that sight he missed Michael’s left hand until all at once it splayed over the side of Alex’s right hip. He jumped a little at that and he caught Michael’s small smile in response. The hand pushed its way up to his waist where it sat for a moment like a hot stone against his skin. Alex breathed and watched it raise and lower with fascination, unable to take his eyes off the sight of someone else’s hands on him like this.

The sudden appearance of a wet heat around him made him choke down a moan though, and he looked down to see Michael tasting him while his hand continued its steady rhythm at the base. Alex felt Michael’s tongue flick out against him and he thought he might die right there as a bolt of electric want seared through him. Alex squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself not to come yet, he wanted to be able to enjoy this a little longer.

He felt Michael’s hand on his waist begin to move again, slowly upwards until it was resting on his chest. Alex thought Michael was just enjoying the feeling of Alex under his palm, the way Alex had with him, but then he very gently pinched Alex’s nipple between his fingers and began to worry it. Tiny darts of heat shot straight to Alex’s groin and his hips jerked involuntarily in response. He groaned and balled his fists in the cover under him; he hadn’t known that could be a sensitive spot.

Alex’s breaths were coming in gasps and he could feel his belly tightening; he knew he needed to warn Michael that he was close.

“‘M gonna-” He choked out, biting back another gasp as Michael twisted his wrist and rolled his fingers at the same time. Michael sat back and quickened his pace, stroking Alex faster and harder until he came all over his stomach with a mostly suppressed grunt and his eyes squeezed shut.

He was grateful when Michael let him go gently as he became oversensitive, and he lay still for a moment as he caught his breath. Alex finally opened his eyes to see Michael watching him from between his knees, a smile on his face. Alex smiled back and limply patted the space on his left in invitation. Michael scrambled up and curled in next to him, leaning forward as Alex tipped his head back to meet in the middle for a soft kiss.

Alex reached his right hand up and cupped Michael’s neck gently, letting their foreheads rest together as the kiss ended. He sat quietly, content to breathe the same air Michael was and feel his warmth against his skin. His thumb stroked absently at Michael’s cheek, feeling the beginning of stubble there. Alex spared half a thought towards retrieving his pants and then dismissed it lazily.

If this was what it meant to be with another person, he could enjoy it a little longer.


End file.
